American's Just Aren't Into Soccer

GOOOALLL! Well it would have been if he weren’t offside. If only everything was as simple as soccer. If only life existed on a 120 x 80 yard patch of grass, with the only barriers being skinny white lines and a universal objective, to kick a ball into the net. We already have a bunch of teams in society, from Democrats and Republicans to girls and guys. If only political conflicts could be won or lost on goals. But then again that wouldn’t work for the US; we don’t care that much about soccer.