Boy and Uncle: China virus
–Boy, da news say dey attacking people in Chinatown. Telling dem “Go home! Go back to where you came from!”
–Dey tink dey went bring da corona virus from China.
–Dat no make sense. Most of dose guys nevah been to China fo fifty years.
–You no remembah? President Trump went call um da China virus. He thot da Chinese was making one secret chemical weapon and went unleash um on da world for WORLD DOMINATION!
–You reading too much comics, Boy. Maybe das what dose damn hoodlums doing, reading comics. Or listening to Trump.
–Uncle, get anykine now: England virus, Brazil virus, South Africa virus. Even get one new one: California virus.
–Ho, coming closer eh? Why dey gotta name um for da place. Errytime he say “China virus,” someting bad happen to Chinese. Trump, where he stay now?
–Florida. Get plenny virus ovah dea too.
–Ah, from sea to shining sea, eh! So why dey still blame China? Why dey no call um da America virus. We numbah one fo people dying eh? You tink pretty soon dey going attack people in England-town, Brazil-town, South Africa-town. California-town?
–Ha, ha. I no tink so, Uncle. Only if you Chinese…
–-Or Japanese or Korean. Or Filipino or Vietnamese. Cause dem guys no can tell da difference.
–Dey tink dey all Chinese. President Trump went call um da “kung flu.” And now people scared go Chinatown.
–-How you figgah? When people say “China virus” dey talking about YOU, Boy! No diffrent from da rats dat went bring da plague long time ago. Instead dey blame da pa-kes. Burn down da house. Da rats escape. Da pa-kes no can. No can run away, haoles stop dem wit da stick, gun, ax. Gotta stay in Chinatown, watch their house burn down. Watch their store burn down. Chinese people, dey used to being blamed. Nutting new.
–No can help, Uncle. No can do nutting.
–You know da Chinese word fo plague? Syu yik (鼠疫). Two word: rat and epidemic. Not China virus. Dey knew. Dey knew. Da rats, not da Chinese. Even da scientists knew dat. From way befo. Europe, black death. Rats. Look um up, Boy. Make book report. What dat mean? Dey wanted to eliminate da Chinese. Not da rats. Das why nowdays maybe one auntie going get her purse stolen. Das why maybe somebody going get suckah punch and push to da ground. Das why dey going tink you F.O.B. No mattah what you say. Dey not going ask. So, whachu going do?
–Boy, no let anybody make slant eye or buck teet’ at you. No let your friends say “Ah so.” No let anybody call you “coolie” or “cheap skate” or “harm ha.” Not funny. Tell dem not funny. If somebody tell me go back to where I came from, I would tell ‘em, “Okay, I going back Palolo.” Nevah been to China. I hope I no get sick, bumbye dey might call um da Palolo Pa-ke Virus.