Boy and Uncle: Fountain of Youth
–Uncle, how come you always drinking beer?
–Beer. Das my fountain of yout’. You know like Pants de Leon.
–Ponce de Leon.
–Yeah, yeah. He went look fo da Fountain of Yout’. Someplace Florida, la dat.
–But he nevah find um, Uncle.
–Nevah find um? Florida, get plenny old people ovah dere. Me, I found um. I drink dis and I stay young. Like you. I getting younger and younger.
–Ha, ha. Not!
–Yeah. I drink beer and I tink about all da times befo dat I went drink beer. Every time!
–You remember every time you drank beer?
–Every time! Except da times I no remember. Everytime I remembah. Like yesterday. I was younger. You see? Fountain of Youth. I evah told you da time when I went drink beer and I lost my pants?
–Yeah, lost my pants. Me and da gang went drink beer Ala Moana and den somebody tell, we go swim. Da boys and some girls in da gang. Some get boyfriend, some no mo. So we take off da pants and go swim in our BVDs. Da girls mostly shy, dey no like us see dem in panty and bra. Dark, night time, so we figgah nobody going see. Come out of da water, no mo my pants. I look all ovah. No mo my pants. Only my pants gone. Errybody else get their pants. Gonfunnit! Was probably your Auntie who was so stun by my good looks dat she stole my pants so dat I would marry her. Must be she like what she saw.
–You boo-shet, Uncle.
–No. Fo real. Auntie had all da pants to steal but she went steal mine. Must be I from da heavens. One handsome buggah sent by da gods. Jes like da story about da Milky Way and da Cow-boy and da Weaver lady.
–Cowherd and the Weaving Maiden. Da cowherder went steal da goddess robe when she was bathing in da lake so she couldn’t go back to heaven. Cowherd told her dat she can get her clothes back if she marry him.
–Yeah, you see! She went steal my pants and I had to marry her fo get um back.
–So you said you was going marry her?
— I jes wanted my pants back. But pretty soon I, ah, got used to her seeing me witout pants. Whoo hoo!
–So, she was da goddess, not you.
–Yeah, guess so. Good I lost my pants!