Kapahulu- Kaika's Torch Fishing Tale

Barry-  Eh, Kaika, whatever happened to Uncle Dane last night? Where everybody went when he came so pupule?  Felt like all of a sudden, was just you, me and him in the house. Almost like everybody else got swallowed up by the night or the lehua taro patch, I neva even hear Butchie Girl. Was so weird man! 

Kaika- Yeah, all that beer wiped him out like one forty-foot Waimea Bay wave. 

Barry- Wow! I don't remember summer in Kapahulu being so hot and sticky,the trees so still, the heat coming off the pavement can almost melt my rubbah slippa. Uncle Dane's ice cold Primo is looking better and better to me every minute IF get any beer left.

Kaika- Let's  go sit out on the porch and talk story, maybe we can catch the Ko'olau breeze. You brought your 'ukulele?

Barry- Yeah, I still working on the same song. Can't get that quick change my 'ukulele kumu is always scolding me about. (he begins strumming) Start with one good story Kaika, for inspiration. Your last one about the baseball cards was so boring, it even put Butchie Girl to sleep, let's talk about girls or something interesting.

Kaika- Eh, no complain if you can't come up with one betta talk story story yourself. Wait, let me think, we go try this one. Every Friday night, from hanabata days, was a biiiig night for me. I used to go torch fishing with Uncle Bobo and the cousins. We would all pile up in the back of his jalopy, like termites on one piece of damp wood. Da 'ohana used to call him 'Anakala Man. I think I got my middle name from him, he must have had a real name, like one school name, you know how the teacher on the first day of school would ask you your name  and then she would look at her list with those  Granny Clampett glasses resting on her nose? Then she used to look up at me and say, that's not your official name! She used to make me feel like one criminal in those spy movies, the Cold War movies, they used to call it. Ho! The class would always bus' up laughing. So Uncle Bobo must have had one of those first day of school names you never heard it after the first day. Well,  you heard it later, over and over again in the playground. Maybe his real name was Pono. Yeah, once in a while they used to call him Pono.

Barry- Eh, how you get Pono from Bobo? Don't make sense bruddah.

Kaika- That's how my 'ohana is, they always playing with names, they say we got that tradition from way back, kahiko times, Tutu used to call it. Names used to change a lot. Sometimes when people make you hear a lot of names changing.

Barry- Eh Kaika, I neva heard of the name changing before.

Kaika-You know, we get 'ohana from Tahiti too. They come visit only when we have the huge 'ohana reunions. Ho, they famous for changing names, and once they change your name, you gotta stick to the new name. They get different traditions you know. And man,those Tahitians, they can dance, especially the wahines, all night long,no can stop them, not even the sunrise. They bring their own records from Tahiti and we party in the garage. And all dey like eat  is raw fish with coconut milk! And lots of beer, way more than Uncle Dane! Ho,the neighbors would come all huhu the next day, sometimes they don't talk to us for weeks. Only Mrs. Yamaguchi understands. She even used to come over to kokua with the clean-up.
So anyway, back to torch fishing with 'Anakala Man. Like I said, every Friday night, no miss. Rainbows game or no Rainbows game. In fact, we even went fishing on the night of his wife,Aunty Pualani's birthday!  Man, she was huhu! Anyway, that night, something weird happened. We went to a different place, not the same fishing  spot we would go to every Friday, Uncle called it Bowling Lanes when Uncle Bobo picked me up, he was wearing something kinda different under his fishing shirt, like one shiny, night clubbing shirt, Don Ho style kine.  Like I said, UNDERNEATH his hamajang fishing shirt. I was tinking to myself, what's wrong with dis lomi salmon? One shirt under one naddah shirt? How you figga?Dis is not da same Uncle Bobo. He must be up to some kinda trouble.

Barry- Wow Kaika, this is gonna be one looooong Friday night fishing tale, wit one loooong tail!

Kaika- Eh Barry, don't you remember? Eeeevery fishing story is supposed to be long and da ending always changing. And dis time, I can make dis story as long as I want, da boss said no moa restrictions.But, you're right Bruddah Barry. And I'm not even supposed to talk about it. I promised Mama K.. 

Barry- So,you're breaking the promise you know.

Kaika- Yeah, I guess, maybe I'm still trying to figure the whole thing out. I think I'm still kinda confused. We thought maybe he was going split on us for a few hours and go someplace he not supposed to go you know what I mean? With his Don Ho shirt. You could tell he was gonna hemo dat hamajang shirt any minute now!

Barry- Eh, you know what? I don't think one single fish is gonna be in this story! You know, Charlie Chan used to say, fish in sea, like flea on dog. So that means, supposed to have plenty fish in dis story! As many fish as get fleas on Butchie Girl's back! (Butchie Girl begins to bark.)
Kaika- Cut it out Butchie Girl! Wait, let me think. Oh no, I think you're right again Bruddah Barry. No moa fish in this story!

Barry- So what happened to Aunty Pualani?

Kaika- Da next day, she went to visit Mahina,, her sister in Waimanalo, she stayed with her for a long time.

Clinking of manapua cart bells interrupts the story-telling. Mr. Ching arrives selling fresh, hot char siu bao. Butchie Girl begins to bark.

Mr. Ching- (calling out from the street) Hot, fresh bao, good price today! Twenty- five cents for one, seventy-five cents for two! Good price today!

To be continued….

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