to describe it I think

it’s underneath the way she used

to speak

to stay alive she spoke

in a buried kind of way

above the horizon yes

but at the same time

the dark words were below

beneath even air

words escaping from her mouth

they were all double-stacked

one carrying the other by its back

the under-carriaged one

so clutched below

the cream and sugared coffee

served daily with a teaspoon of salt

the earth taste of ground too bitter

chewed by mouthfuls

utter bolts of desperation

in the holding back

the perhaps of speech

the tongue forking

dealing speech plus the silent one

that lied beneath the smother

one of the other

of unsaid hatred and sorrow

mixed in her to a hidden frenzy

tossed to sink the sun

setting out to sail into life’s curve

no longer to be

the hell of a desperate mind

the goad of a frantic

too long life to not

lay bare by all means

a neverland of youth so gone

soul of her father

mind of her mother

body of a drowning victim

the tomorrows all crept too slow

still so far to go

the petty dusty life pace

never fast enough

to just get it over with already

now to be cheated of your life

does ever in her feel less knowing

in this nursing home

so relaxed she can speak

long gray hair falling down

around her

single at last

one word meaning only one word

the end finally there

just there

the other side

and this was love