Grown up is better

Grown up
I see her
Through the
Hazy mornings and
Frantic coffee rush
Of the off to
School routine
Thought the cool dark
of late night tv reflection
I see her
as she really is
As the years have made her

Younger days,
I saw only the
hot flashes of desire
that flew off
her smile
the radiant
beauty of her
raven black hair
the curve of her
lips
painted Del Rio
blotted on
cocktail napkins
so they wouldn’t leave
a mark
the crumpled clothes
on hotel room floors
witness to the
joy
of hours lost in
her arms
but did I really
see her?

Grown up
Grown older
Looking askance
At the slightly gray haired
Stranger in the mirror
I catch a glimpse of her
And think
I know her
I’ve seen her

The hair lines
That have just
Started to shown
Around the corner
Of those eyes
The wise woman with
The slightly deeper laugh
Still radiant
Still so many others
I catch watching her
As she flows
Down the street

The space between us
Forced open by the
Children
Dogs
Work calls
Incoming email
House chores
The exhaustion
Overwhelming the few hours
Not already promised
To someone else
Gives time for reflection

I see her now
and think
This is who she wanted
To become
Mother
Teacher
Healer
Lover

Yes the girl
I loved at 19
All grown up
And grown up is
better