Uncle’s Advice

So what da buggah said? Coach said, “Can try again if I like.” You see. Can. No use. No can. I no can. Remembah da book, you used to like? Da small choo-choo train pull da whole line of cars up da hill. All da big trains tell “No use.” Or “No can.” Or “No…

Uncle and Honeymoon Shrimp

Ho las’ night me and Aunty went Wo Fat and order honeymoon shrimp. What’s dat? Dey take one broccoli, you like broccoli eh? And den dey make one slit in da shrimp and poke da stem part thru da shrimp. Honeymoon shrimp. Was mo bettah den my own honeymoon. Hee, hee. What’s da honeymoon part?…

Kau Yuk

You play basketball eh? Yeah, but we junk. I evah told you our basketball team went from last place to first? Cause of Kau Yuk. Like da red pork? Dats his name, Kau Yuk? Yeah. We call him dat cause he look like kau yuk. Lotta fat, little bit meat, and red all ovah. He…

Chinese New Year

—Uncle, when is Chinese New Year? “Ah-so, little Gas-hoppah. Lemme consult my calendah…” —You gotta consult da lunar calendar? “All kine calendar gotta consult. Chinese New Year sometimes January, sometimes February. If da pa-kes had their way, would be in March too!” —How come? Supposed to be da new moon in January. “Not so fast,…

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