“This is a problem” said the authorities.

“It doesn’t bother me” I reply.

“This needs to go.” They reiterated.

“Never.” Said I.” I will tend to it, care for it, nurture it and I will love it forever.

For always.”

“Ok let us know when it starts to bother you…..”

Hrummpph! Thought I.

Is it getting weaker?

I tended to it. I washed it, I carefully fed it only the softest finest foods. Nothing harsh or course.

I love you so! Please don’t’ leave me! Please don’t go!

What can I do?

I know! No work! You never have to do a lick of work. Your sisters can do your share.

Suddenly, I felt it begin to rattle. Then it started shaking.  Wait, what’s that funny wheezing sound it’s making?

No worries! I’ll try harder!

Even softer food! Constant supervision.

The others began to suffer. Overwork has led to pockets and inflammation.

“Don’t touch it!” I cry as the authorities try to fix the others. “It’s weak, it’s loose, it needs special treatment!”

“It needs to go!’ They cried back “Doesn’t it bother you yet?”

“Never!” I howled.

I am prepared to spend the rest of my life tending to it. I am dedicated! I am strong!

I can do this!

Oooo that chicken wing looks good. I’d love to try some, but we mustn’t. It’s too weak, it might die.

No bother, I can do this.

What’s that tickle on my tongue and in my cheek. It’s annoying. It’s hard to speak.

But no bother! I can do this!

I wake in the morning. Quick check, did it survive the night?

Yes, it’s ok. We’re ok. Walk carefully. Talk carefully. Check again. Everything still ok?

I can do this…..Can I do this?

I’m tired now. Is it too much? I think it is….I think it’s ….Bothering me….

I tell the authorities. They throw me down with glee!

“At Last!” They said “You’re seeing reason, oh happy day! We’ll yank this thing out right away! Upside down, in the chair, just a pinch or twenty! The pain won’t last, it’s just some tugging! Here we go! It’s out! It’s out! Let’s all start mugging!”

“Yipee!” says one

“Huzzah! ” says the other

“No more bother?” asks the one

“No more bother” says the other

I look in the mirror.

“What is this Horror?”

There’s blood on my lips….

I open my mouth slowly……

A hole, a gap, a chasm where my friend should be.

I feel terrible. I cry.

I weep, I’m sorry old chum, it was just too much, I simply could no longer be bothered.

Talk story

Leave one comment for Edentulous

This website uses cookies to offer you a better browsing experience. By browsing this website, you agree to its use of cookies.