Bamboo Shoots breeze
It is what it is…
“It is what it is” = “wazzent me!” POTUS, 8-3-20
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Rat
Boy and Uncle: Fountain of Youth (June 5 prompt – Whoo Hoo)
Boy and Uncle: Fountain of Youth –Uncle, how come you always drinking beer? –Beer. Das my fountain of yout’. You know like Pants de Leon. –Ponce de Leon. –Yeah, yeah. He went look fo da Fountain of Yout’. Someplace Florida, la dat. –But he nevah find um, Uncle. –Nevah find um? Florida, get plenny old…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Virus
—Uncle, how come you wearing da Burger King crown? –Somebody went ask me if I had corona. I said yeah, I get one crown. —I tink dey meant da disease. –I no mo disease. I no mo da plague. No blame me. No burn down my house. I’m okay. —Burn down your house? –Long time…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Pau
“You pau?” she asked. Not impatient or mocking. Just a question. “Pau,” I said, not even sure. Maybe I could go again. But maybe she would charge again and I would waste money. “Pau,” I repeated. Put on my pants, hands still shaking from the pleasure but I knew not to linger. I don’t smoke…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Fourth Grade
Third grade, da whole second semester, Andrew kept telling me, “I hope I no get Miss Sato. I hope I no get Miss Sato. I hope I no get Miss Sato. She da meanest teacha in da fourth grade, maybe da whole school.” Even da teachas know she real strick, so we bettah behave bumbye…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Cantankerous
Cantankerous Boy, come help me dis can-tankerous! –What? No can open da can. –How come? Sardine come in square can. No can open. Can-tankerous. –Ha, ha. You da one cantankerous. Not me, da can! Gonfonnit! Help me open. –Uncle, wassamattah? Da damn can opener no can go around da corner. Who da hell went invent…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Wanda Hu
So what you going get for your girlfriend? Valentine Day l’dat? –I no mo girlfriend, Uncle. No mo? Bettah get one before you get too old like me. –You had girlfriend? Or was always Aunty? Girlfriends, boy. Girlfriends. I was one Romeo and all da Juliets went call fo me: Romeo, Romeo where fo you…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Comfort Chicken
Comfort Chicken Long time ago. We used to have pets dat we love and feed and take care dem. We save da bes piece of leftovah meat fo dem. We fogive dem even wen dey go shi-shi or numbah two wrong time, wrong place. We jes tell, “Das okay, bebe…” Dey depend on you. And…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Enema
So I looking in da laxative aisle at Longs. I get one problem. All kine get: prescription strength, fast action, gentle action. For me, no action. Da CVS enema on sale and den I remembah: one guy on da mainland went buy um, and den return da used enema to CVS. Always get somebody try…
Bamboo Shoots Submission for Year of the Pig
Silence
Silence. Our house, we neva talk. Daddy come home and only tell about work. Not even one long story but one short, Morse code kine story. Like we supposed to know. “Boss said….errybody said yeah, yeah.” Same old, same old. He ansa his own question, “Whachugoingdo?” Mama only tell what she need, “Rice running out.”…