Comfort Chicken

Comfort Chicken

Long time ago. We used to have pets dat we love and feed and take care dem. We save da bes piece of leftovah meat fo dem. We fogive dem even wen dey go shi-shi or numbah two wrong time, wrong place. We jes tell, “Das okay, bebe…” Dey depend on you.

And den had “seeing eye” dog fo blind people. Dey depend on da dog. Errybody know, no stop and try pet da dog cause da dog stay WORKING. Make sense.

Nowadays, get all kine PETS inside da supermarket, riding da cart or walking around in da store looking at tings. Some get da red vest fo make like dey one service animal. But not working like one “seeing eye” dog. Maybe da owner da one who should be wearing da red vest cause dey da service human who navigating da store fo da dog. Maybe da service human going stop in da pet food aisle and ask da dog fo choose. And da service human so proud when you stop and tell, “Cute your dog, wit da hair ribbons.” Yeah, da dog stay WORKING their humans. Da sign outside says, “service animals only” but might as well say, “Whatevahs, cause we no-like-make-a-scene animals only” when somebody tell dey need their “comfort animal” inside da store.

So nowadays people no leave da dog at home for watch da house. Guard dog: bark, bark, bark at da mailman or da burglars or da stray cats. You gotta bring um wit you inside da market cause you so lonely you no can buy eggs witout your comfort animal. Maybe you need somebody to talk to, but not to da funny kine neighbor down da street even when you see him waiting fo da bus wit da 25-pound bag rice. You know where he live.

Last time I went Gina’s BBQ one lady walk in wit her Foodland bag and one big purse. She get one chicken inside her purse, da rooster head popping out, looking like he stay looking fo feed. Maybe he smell my barbeque chicken plate.

What da hell? You no can leave your chicken at home when you go out buy lunch? Or market to buy eggs? Maybe you bringing him to Gina’s to tell him if he no win da next fight he going end up ovah here wit his cousins. You probably get one cute comfort chicken vest in dat bag too, just in case somebody stop you. Da ting look so GOOD on um, especially when he puff up his chest and crow, “I da BIGGEST COCK in dis house.” All because you get one disability dat require da assistance of one chicken fo make sure you no go ballistic in da store. Brah, I might need one comfort animal fo make sure I no choke your fucken chicken in Gina’s or da store. I might bus your eggs.