On Election Day

Boy and Uncle: Election

 

–Gonfonnit! Damn pen leak all over.

–What you doing?

–My mail vote. I vote erry single election since I was 16!

–Ah, you couldn’t vote when you was 16, Uncle.

–I know, I know. But my mother ask me who take care da Chinese people. So I tell her what I tink. But now, what I tink is not what I mark.

–Spoiled ballot.

–So what is dat? Like you went foget and leave da milk outside fo couple days?

–No, das if you went make mistake. Mark um wrong.

–Like I went vote fo somebody I no like.

–Yeah.

–Ahhh. Das good. If you change your mind das spoiled?

–Yeah.

–If cat went shi-shi on top. Das spoiled?

–Yeah.

–If da politician went knock on my door and ask if he can put sign in my yard?

–Das not spoiled.

–Yeah but, what if he gimme 5 lb bag rice fo put da sign?

–Das bribe Uncle. You not supposed to do dat.

–I like rice. And nice man.

–Who was?

–Try wait, I gotta go read da sign…

–So what Uncle, who you supporting?

–One crook! Das not da guy who came. Somebody else went come ask fo him. And gimme da rice.

–So what Uncle, you went spoil your ballot?

–Naw, I went spoil my appetite.