Alternatively purposed

There it is again, out in the open, poking her eye, that tilly-pink box with the green leaves that doesn’t belong to her, white cursive font announcing its contents.

A week ago, about to load the washer, she found him at the laundry tub, swishing three ball caps around in a bucket of soapy liquid. By her reckoning he has, like, 50 of them. If asked, he says that they protect his bald head from sunburn. (She has never countered with her theory that they protect his bald head from detection.) Since his endeavors could conceivably go on awhile, derailing her laundry plans, she had to ask.

She: What are you doing?

He: Dirty inside, my hats, so I soakin’ ‘em in laundry detergent. I already wen’ do three, and they came pretty clean. Kinda humbug, though. Got any ideas?

She: I can try making some inserts from old washcloths and elastic – or Velcro; or you could wear a cloth headband underneath? Something we can throw in the washer, anyway.

Then, the way bright ideas are occasionally born, like a thunderclap, he had his eureka moment.

He: What you think?

What she thought was It’s not environmentally friendly, never mind the awkward connotation – but just go along to get along, girl.

She: Well, okay, no harm in trying.

Trials were encouraging. After wearing a cap, he pulled off that disposable attachment and threw it away. His hat was still clean – no need to wash. There was just one minor issue for him, and one less minor for her.

He: Eh. No more unscented kind?

She: Yeah. Why?

He: The thing smell like baby powder. I feel self-conscious, like people can smell.

She: Well, then, go ahead and buy the unscented kind – just please do me a favor and put the box away, so people won’t think those are my Carefree Extra Long pantiliners.

 

(an open box of Carefree Extra Long pantiliners, original scent)